i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
