plz talk dirty to me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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