I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
