anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize