I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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