I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Farmville is her only friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
