Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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