He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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