I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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