The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Someone came in the potted fern
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
