omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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