so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
