well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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