Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
