i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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