yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
