ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ttyl tear gas
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
