Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
