I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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