Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Your penis caused this!
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