he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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