Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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