I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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