Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
