My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found your dick twin last night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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