I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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