Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
