from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
