Whod you bang
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
