oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
