That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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