I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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