People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
