u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
