Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
