i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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