literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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