i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
