Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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