Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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