Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
