I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
