wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
