So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
