I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
