Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize