Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
