speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
