Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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