Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
