you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
