We won't sleep together?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
