Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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