I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize