Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
