he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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