he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
