And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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