you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mom said you looked used
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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