he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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