No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
